Remember the late Rodney Dangerfield, how he used to say, "I get no respect"? Most of us used to just laugh at this, but the Black community seems to have taken it to heart. They have even gone so far as to define a new class of respect and that is "disrespect". We hear them say and sometime are willing to fight if some one "disrespects" them. I am trying to figure out what all this means and why.
I was raised with the idea that respect was something that was earned, not some kind of God given thing. Why do Blacks seem to expect respect if they have done nothing to earn that respect? That is the theme of this blog.
What kinds of things does a person have to do to earn respect, or what kinds of things that a person should "not" do to earn respect? What I would like to do is to explore both of these points. Doing the right things and not doing the wrong things is 100% under the mental control of the individual. It is one of those even handed concepts that is not based on wealth or station in life. If anything better fit the concept of American Freedom, I don't know what it would be. There is another side point to all this and that is "pride". To my way of thinking, pride is a double edged sword. Even in the Bible, they warn about the excess of pride. It is not the same thing as respect. You earn respect and pride you just create. I think that Blacks tend to mix respect and pride and it is the pride part that appears to be the one that gets them into trouble.
What does a person have to do to earn respect? It is a different thing within different groups. What one has to do to gain the respect of a bunch of drug dealers is a lot different from what would be required for a socially responsible group. My point is that we need to be sure that we are doing things to earn respect from the right group. Look at Blacks again. Are they doing things to earn respect from only other Blacks or are they doing things to earn respect from the general population? This whole process is a classical feed back control system. If the group in question is going down hill and you are doing things to earn respect from that group, you will be doing things that also take you down hill. It is the same for a group that is going up. Parents call these peer groups and if you fall into the "wrong" peer group and try to earn their respect, you end up just like that peer group. This is a simple concept and we all know how it works. So why is this important for the Black community?
As it stands now, the Black community has the highest out of wedlock birth rate, highest high school dropout rate, highest crime rate, highest unemployment rate and about the highest in social irresponsibility rate, if there was such and index. As stated above, each person is totally in charge of their own conduct and how it affects earning respect. Rather than going around and expecting respect, the Black community needs to rethink their whole concept of respect and disrespect. They need to look at a much larger picture than just their local Black community when it comes to defining respect and understanding what they have to do to earn that respect. This is not an easy job and that may be the reason that so little progress has been made, when, in fact, they have been going backwards while most of the world has been going forward.
I would like to see a civil debate about this whole business of respect in all racial communities with attention to those who are going in the right direction and those that are going in the wrong. We all should be honest enough to learn from each other in terms of those going in the right direction and those who are going in the wrong direction. Throwing out statistics for the sole purpose of throwing mud in one group or the other's face is not productive, but we need to be honest about the statistics and what they mean.
Back in the mid 70's when I first became aware of the fact that 50% of Black children were born out of wedlock, I knew that we were all looking at a bleak future if we could not change that trend. The fact is that we have not been able to reverse the trend and we have all kinds of social problems as well as economic problems as a result. That was a long time ago and a lot of water under the bridge, but the problem is as big as ever. This blog is to point out how we might be able to start a turn around if we can agree on this business of "earning respect".
PS----I don't care who or what you are, I will not respect you if you (1 Don't finish high school, (2) Have kids out of wedlock or kids you can not afford to provide for, (3) Do illegal drugs, (4) Can't keep a job, (5) Commit any serious crime, (6) Abuse government aid programs, (7) Smoke, (8) Social burden due to being over weight. Notice that all of these do not cost you a dime and are totally under your control, but my respect still may seem expensive to some.
